assholic | Open Post

Things had been going along well between them. Suspiciously well, or maybe that was just her cynical nature chiming in to try to ruin everything. She'd healed up nicely, gotten back to work, and it was almost business as usual. Almost, because her usual hadn't used to involve another person in her home all the time. In her life. Certainly not to this degree. But she'd find herself trying to be home at times she knew he'd be, or picking up food she thought he'd like.

God, she found herself smiling sappily to herself in the middle of the day sometimes, drawing attention to herself by her stupid, lovesick expression. But it was hard to get worked up over it, especially when she'd been in line behind an older couple, looking off to the distance and thinking of what kind of sandwich to get him for dinner that night, then thinking of feeding it to him, from his lap-. She'd been jolted out of her daydream by the woman ahead of her turning to her and giving her the most knowing smile of all as she patted her arm. "Ah, I remember those days," she'd said, voice high but soft, and with a heavy Russian accent. "Trust me, devushka, it doesn't get any less. Only more."

The instinct to scoff had been lingering, but the intent behind the comment was just too damn genuine, and she'd found her cheeks pinking as she waited in line. She'd wound up getting them huge cuban's that she had indeed fed him from his lap. It had gotten messy. She grinned just thinking back to it.

That grin was still on her face while she sat at her desk, going over the last bits of information for a client about the goings on of their ex employee trying to claim workers comp. Unfortunately for the client, the guy had legitimately been hurt and wasn't trying to cash in beyond what he'd earned. The door opening and the phrase being said had her laughing, but she didn't look up from her laptop, still wanting to get it finished entirely before he distracted her. "I'm not a redhead and you're way sexier than Ricky. I'm also pretty sure you're not Cuban."

Maybe she didn't look up but she'd likely smell the familiar food he brought home. Diego stopped off in the bedroom to drop off his duffel bag before heading to her office aka the living room.

"At least one of us is sure," he quipped in return. Jessica wasn't wrong; he had shared Reginald Hargreeves had bought him in Mexico, not Cuba. Diego still used the opportunity to continue the banter. He set the food down on her desk. "How much longer are you gonna be?"

There was no rush in the question. He was deciding on going to get utensils and bring them to her or if they'd sit down to have the meal. Diego would start taking of the suit jacket and roll up his sleeves depending on her answer.

The smell of the food made her stomach growl, reminding her that she'd forgotten to eat lunch. "Not much. I just need to-," she broke off when he came over to the desk and her gaze flicked up at him of its own accord, but she paused and had to do a double take when she saw what he was wearing. "Oh. Um. Is there an occasion and I missed it? We're nowhere close to an anniversary..."

Her brain had short circuited. Diego looked good to her no matter what he wore. Especially when he wore his birthday suit. But dressed up in a suit with that look on his face? Nope. She was going to need a minute. A blissful smile melted onto her face and she pushed back from her desk. "I can be done now."

"We missed our two month anniversary but who's counting," he uttered through a wide grin. The surprise had been a positive reaction but Diego realized it might be a challenge to get her to focus on the serious discussion he planned on having. Or he'd have a hard time focusing with how she was looking at him.

He shook his head in objection. "You don't have to be done yet. You were in the middle of something. I can get the chopsticks and wait to talk until after." There was a nervous excitement she might pick up on as Diego tried to act casual but was failing miserably.

Instead of keeping eye contact, he opted to take off the few knives he strategically placed on his person without removing his suit jacket yet.

"I don't think I've ever done monthly anniversaries." She leaned back in her chair, letting her eyes skim over him all done up like a pretty present for her. She wanted to unwrap him. Oh yeah, it was going to be difficult for her to concentrate on anything but him- especially when he casually pulled out a knife from who knows where and started fidgeting with it.

That, more than anything, clued her into his mood. Tense. He was tense. But not in a bad way. Okay, so something was up. She chewed on her lower lip before she moved to scoot her chair back in towards the desk. "Not the middle. Near the end. Just wrapping up the details for the file. I can print it and deliver it tomorrow."

Her eyes were going to keep going back to him when she started typing, because... well. "You look nervous. Are you planning on telling me something I don't want to hear?"

There were times that he hated how well she could read him. As observant as he thought he was, Diego couldn't read Jessica to the level he felt that she could read him. Not that they had any major arguments over the discrepancy. It really didn't cause an issue other than him getting called out and missing the mark a few times on doing the same.

He set his knife down with a crooked grin and headed to the kitchen. "Does that mean you're staying in tonight?" he asked over his shoulder. It was a stupid question. She'd been staying in most nights, going out with him than alone since her injury. The question now to her was a stalling technique.

It might have been a bad call, possibly exacerbating any concern she had over what he might be up to. Diego hoped she wouldn't think the worst but didn't know how to recover from what she asked. He hoped it wouldn't be something she didn't want to hear but also could understand if she viewed it that way.

She'd hear him going into a kitchen drawer to fish out utensils.

"I was planning on it. Unless you're all dressed up because you want to get me to do the same so we can go out together?" Because like hell was she going to let him walk out the door looking like that without her.

Huh. There was that possessive jealousy rearing its ugly head. Not that she thought for an instant he'd do anything with anyone else. There was an inherent trust she had in him that she'd never had for anyone else. Not even Trish. They weren't the same person, Diego and Jess, but they were tied together through a bond that meant they fit together the right way. Two halves of a fucked up whole. But it worked for them and after having him touch her, after tasting him, the idea of letting anyone else even touch her made her want to retch.

So she trusted that he'd never do anything with anyone else. She just didn't trust the women he might run into in his jobs. They'd do things that he might feel uncomfortable retaliating against. She wouldn't, but... well. She'd enjoy it.

He rifled in the kitchen and, as he correctly guessed, she recognized it as a stall technique. But she wasn't in a rush. She could let this play out and see where it landed. She typed up the last of her report, glanced over it before saving it and then closed the laptop and leaned back in her chair.

"I'm not complaining. I like it. You look like something I want to take my time unwrapping. It's the nerves I'm worried about. Did you do something?"

"You wanna get dressed and go out?" he asked earnestly, surprised by what she said. Diego wondered if he had done her a disservice by not setting up a night out rather than showing up with her favorite food in a suit. The conversation he wanted to have would have worked well with a night out on the town.

Then again, he wanted to save what money he'd made to help make some major changes. His shoulders fell as he returned with the chopsticks.

"I just wanted to talk. We can go out." Diego shoved one pair of chopsticks in the noodles then the other set in dim sum. His dark eyes were bigger than usual, hanging on what she'd say on staying in or going out.

"We can go out another night. I don't think I'd do very well being out with you in that suit, anyway. I'd get too distracted and we'd wind up needing to get bailed out because I'd drag you into a bathroom or just throw you on top of a car."

He came back with the chopsticks and she reached out and grabbed the box with the noodles. "I'm more concerned with why you look like you expect me to be mad about something." Or upset. He was buttering her up, and she liked it. But she didn't like that he felt he had to to avoid a fallout of some sort. Whatever it was, they'd deal with it. But... well.

He came in such a pretty package.

Now came a frown. The conversation was tanking. It was good to hear that she wouldn't be able to keep her hands off of him, not good that she immediately thought he might have something to say which would upset her. Unfortunately there wasn't a mirror to see Jessica was reading the room right. He made being anxious awkward.

"I don't know how you're gonna take it. What I wanna say." A beat. "Ask. What I wanna ask you." The words left him and Diego felt he was on the verge of stuttering. It almost sounded as if he was going to propose which if he'd had enough money for a ring, that had been a thought to do first.

He shook his head. "I, uh, it's not--I..." Diego swallowed thickly and shook his head again then forced out the question. "It's stupid. Forget it. I didn't think it through." His eyes stayed on the food but ultimately moved to slump into one of the chairs her clients would normally sit in rather than pick up a container.

"We should go out." His gaze lifted as he attempted to give her a confident look but only managed a feeble smile.

If he stuttered, it would break her heart. She set her box down and got up, coming around to the other side of the desk and physically lifting him in the chair up and turning it around so she could kneel down in front of him. A small show of strength (for her), but she wanted him to know how serious she was.

Her hands rested on his knees, her eyes looking up at him as she took in the nerves. The suit. The fidgeting. The defeat. She hated the latter the most. "Keep that suit and we'll dress up and go out another time. Tonight... I want you to say what you want to say. What you wanted to ask. You already know we're stuck together for life, so if you're going to propose, I'd hope to hell you wouldn't be this nervous about it. If it's something else?"

She gave his knees a very gentle squeeze. "Whatever it is, we'll talk about it and work it out, mi amor. But not asking is just going to have you thinking about it, me wondering what it is, and it's going to be a big fat wart on whatever else we do tonight. So tell me. Ask me. Please."

"Jess..."

The lift didn't scare him or put him off. He had gotten used to the times she'd use her strength. It was merited. Diego was shrinking into himself. He continued to frown as she told him how foolish it would be for him to be nervous about a proposal.

"I don't have money for a ring yet. I'm not going to ask you to marry me and not have a ring."

A hand unbuttoned the suit jacket so he could bend forward.

"And I should ask you to marry me before asking you to move somewhere else."

There. He'd said it. Not that he asked her but what had been on his mind spilled out. Diego had spent half the day practicing to ask her, even being caught and looked at funny by Danny (who had told him that he was flattered but wouldn't chance Jessica kicking his ass).

"This place is your life before me. I saw it. I'm here now, it works but... " Hesitant eyes searched hers. "...I thought maybe we could find a place together. For the future."

A talk of the future would probably be helpful.

"You know, that's not usually how it works..." Not that she was the grand arbiter of what worked best in healthy relationships. But moving into a place together often came before weddings. Then again, when was her life normal.

But that was just distracted mental talk to divert her from the real issue. The question. The ask. She rolled her eyes at him, leaning in and tipping her head up so she was between his knees, head tipped all the way back so she could smile up at him when he leaned over her. "You're cute when you're being a dummy."

It was what he said about seeing her life that clicked it for her. There was a variety of ghosts in this place. Hope. Reuben. Moments where her heart had wanted to lean into someone like Luke or Oscar. She'd been thrown through more than one wall, almost died here at least once... She could see how that could sit poorly with him. One of those in a place with his memories would piss her off. All of the above?

Again, he reminded her of a big cat. He wanted to get her away from a place with all the reminders and scents of past mates and pains. To make their own den. She lifted up a little and gave him a soft kiss. Barely a graze of her lips against his, her eyes closing as she just breathed him in. "Why don't you tell me about this future you've got your eyes on?"

He didn't have the faintest clue on how it worked other than in books and movies. Sadly, he never even had a conversation with Allison when she got hitched other than agreeing to go to the wedding and the details of where it was and where he needed to pick up his tux. Sir Reginald Hargreeves wasn't one to share stories either, only alluding to being widowed.

Yet her response didn't make Diego feel worse, he respected what Jessica educated him on. It also made it better that she called him cute. The kiss was a final push to getting him to calm down which worked perfectly for what she asked him.

"Us. Somewhere that nobody is trying to kill you. Where you don't have reminders of all the shitty things that you've had to deal with. A place that has some room for more." He caressed where his hand reached on Jessica, a balm for him as much as it might be for her.

The idea of having a family was something he secretly wanted but never truly knowing when it would be possible. He didn't want to end up like Allison, losing a custody battle. Relationships didn't last but he'd found his soulmate and couldn't help giving that some thought.

She sat up a bit more on her knees, moving so that her head was more even with him as she sat there. She kissed him back, then rested her forehead against his. Anyone else would have called it nuzzling, but she was a hardass, so she wouldn't- for now. She did, however, lean into the way he touched her, opening her eyes for a moment and seeing the scar against the side of his head, a reminder of a close call. She kissed it, then drew back enough to look at him. "I'm one of the freaks, Romeo. Someone is always going to put the blame for something that happened to them or a family member by some incident or another on me. Or be afraid I'm contagious. Or just afraid. I have roots here, sort of. I have a job I'm not shit at, contacts. Support for both of us if we need it."

But that wasn't what he was really asking. Not when he had that soft tone, when he made that future wish. "But... that doesn't mean I'm tied to this building. Or even this area of town. It's cheap and it was available. And for while I needed it, it did what I needed it to do."

Her hand came up to let her finger curve along the edge of his ear, tracing around it before she moved back a bit, letting her hands smooth down the jacket. "I like the idea of new things. For us. I like that I have someone I want to make plans with."

"Don't say that."

Not everyone had been a fan of the Umbrella Academy. Kids can be cruel and they were to Ben and Klaus whose powers were on the scary side. Nobody was stupid enough to pick a fight with Allison or Diego and Luther was too much of a goody-two-shoes to get baited into a fight when their father was alive. Only Diego had the power of picking a fight with Number One.

It took a lot of discipline not to stand up for Ben or Klaus when they were called names. The kids didn't have to contend with getting bullied at school but when they were out for public events, Diego often would get in trouble for losing his temper. His stutter also had made him a freak. He couldn't stand for anyone calling Jessica one.

"You're not a freak. People are assholes."

He simmered and listened to Jessica go on. She had valid points on the rest and it felt like he'd made a bad call until she took a breath. It was as if saying things out loud had put them in a different perspective for her. Diego relaxed to where she wouldn't feel any tension if she leaned against him.

"I can put in the work. On a new place. I even agreed to work for Luke so it'll be 3 jobs I'll contribute with. 4 if I give private classes at the dojo." The puppy dog look was in full effect, hopeful that Jessica would truly consider leaving the one bedroom in Hell's Kitchen.

He could use that look for so much evil. She would merrily go traipsing into a lot of things for that look. It was his eagerness she needed to rein in, his willingness to throw himself entirely into what he thought she needed or wanted, when all that mattered to her now was him. "Please don't. For a variety of reasons, but for the most selfish one being that I want to see you and be with you, and that's going to be hard if all you're doing is working. We're a team now, Diego. We're supposed to do this together. That means," she said, chiding him as she slid her hands up along his thighs, then used her grip to lever herself up to her feet, where she held her hands out for him to stand with her if he wanted to, "that to work together, you need to talk to me. I know the gist of your past, but not all of it, but I don't know what could make you feel like you couldn't just come tell me that this place didn't feel good for you, for whatever reason, and you wanted to find something that did. Together."

It hurt a little, but she shoved that aside, because this moment wasn't really about her. He'd gotten himself dressed up, then worked up over just the thought of asking her something. It hurt that he felt he couldn't just ask her, but those glimpses into his past hadn't shown a lot of healthy opening up. Not that her own had been much better, but his lack of... confidence, if that was even the right word, about himself and his worth and how much stock he had with her in that regard... She really wanted to kill his dad. "This place doesn't exactly hold a lot of great memories for me. A lot of blood and ghosts, sure." Kilgrave had been here. Some part of her thought she was taking it back by staying, but maybe that's why his voice was always able to find its way to hiss into her ear.

Putting herself in his shoes, she tried to see how she'd feel about moving into a place with him where he'd had past lovers over. Where he'd rolled around with them in the bed they shared. Where memories of them lingered. Diego would feel a thrum of jealousy tremble along that bond. Oh, yeah. She could definitely understand why he'd asked. Just not why he was so nervous. "Did you... did you think I'd be mad about it? Mad at you?"

He stood up when she had, slipping his arms around her as if they were going to slow dance. There was a vulnerable look on his features that Jessica might have seen before. It was one previously reserved only for Grace. He feared rejection and disappointing his soulmate.

Yet he understood her response. It was fair and nothing she hadn't already said. More than that, Diego didn't disagree with it. However, there were two sides and he had a difficult time explaining himself which worsened as Jessica voiced a quiet disappointment.

"I am," he protested just as quietly. It took him a second to continue, awkward and anxious over being called out. "Trying to talk to you. I..." Diego swallowed thickly. Slowly, he picked up his gaze and gave her a pleading look. "I'm not from here. What right do I have to want you to pick up and leave?"

She said what he'd felt and couldn't get into words. "There's a whole life you've had here. A lot more pain than happiness but it's still your place. I don't wanna keep going to the past but I don't know how to talk about a future." Diego had nearly given up on having one before his world ended. Now it was all he thought about after meeting Jessica.

"I didn't think you'd be mad. It was more... you might not take me seriously. I'm not bringing much to the table so why would you. I wanted to show you that I'm bringing something to the table. That's all." He hadn't gotten to worrying about her safety or dealing with disgruntled clients or exes.

"You-," she cut off, looking at him with an expression of such sadness, she felt the tears pricking her eyes. She closed them, then did the only thing she could think of doing in that moment that would cut through whatever pain he'd been through. That could get past all the barbs and jibes and digs he'd suffered through growing up. Through all the people that had failed him so poorly. She focused on that bond between them. On the links that wound through her into him, that vibrated with every intense thing they felt, every pain and joy, and she sent him love. She focused on what she felt every time she looked at him, and she forced it down into that bond until it didn't just hum with it, it shook.

"I love you," she said, voice soft as she opened her eyes, "but I want to smack whoever made you think that you don't bring much to the table. You bring you, Diego. You bring me my other half. God, you bring me love, and I didn't think I'd ever have that. And you think asking me to move is wrong? That you don't have a right?"

Her hands cupped his face, those tears shedding slowly as she looked at him. "I have no future without you, Diego. I have nothing without you. This might not be the world you were born into, but have you ever thought that maybe it's the one you should have been? That something stole you from it? If you matched with me here... maybe this is just as much your world as mine. So, let's make it our world."

His heart sank as water started collecting in her eyes. Hurting her was the last thing he wanted. The possibility of it alone had been what kept him on the fence about saying anything. Now he clearly had and Diego nearly wished he'd kept his big mouth shut until she opened her eyes and spoke.

The tears weren't from something he did to her, it was empathy over how he viewed himself. A burden. Disappointment. Not enough. She'd told him that she loved him and he never doubted she meant it but he really didn't believe he could be loved. Tears rolled down his cheeks, dampening her hands on his face.

"I love you." His voice sounded hoarse with emotion, cracking slightly. "I belong wherever you are. Okay?" It was the best he could string together in agreement. No one had ever made any declaration the way Jessica had. How many times had he felt someone else was the world to him, only to never have it reciprocated? Enough times that he lived a life in the shadows.

Jessica brought him out of the darkness and into a world he only dreamed about. Talking in an emotional state was something Diego had never been able to do. He would make an effort to talk when emotions weren't so raw. She deserved that much. In the moment, he dipped his head to capture her lips and pour everything into a kiss if she allowed him.

Did she want to say more? Always. She'd keep telling him how much he was worth every day until it sunk in. But she'd seen that stuttering image replay in his mind over and over in a lot of flashbacks and she knew how hard words could be for him. So she slid her arms over around his shoulders, leaning into him as he kissed her.

Well, clearly she had two full time jobs now. One was being a P.I., and the other was rebuilding the self esteem that should have been built by the people who'd taken him in. She might not fully get the whole robot mom thing, but Grace's image had a light behind her in his memories and she was going to stop even thinking of the bot as a walking toaster. Grace had been... well, his saving grace. Machinery or not, she owed the memory of who she'd been to Diego more than flippant thoughts.

So she kissed him and kept sending as much of herself through that bond as she could. She adored him. Hell, she hadn't been able to give up drinking for Trish. Or herself. It wasn't even that she gave it up. She just... didn't need it when she had something in her life that made it worth waking up for. Maybe that's what she'd been missing. She kissed him and held him, then, with wet still on her cheeks, she mumbled against his lips, "Where'd you get the suit from? It's nice."

He liked that she was the talker between them but also worried in time, as it had in the past, that he'd wear her down. Jessica seemed more understanding and patient than any of his past relationships. She was also his soulmate. Diego believed what she told him; maybe this was always where he was meant to be. Maybe he'd get better in time and break the chains of his past.

There was more than words from Jessica. Her devotion didn't go unnoticed by the change from her drinking and even smiling. She was happy which wasn't often in the memories he saw since she'd lost her family and one relationship after another. It was why Diego found it so important to keep her happy because it was also the happiest he'd ever been.

A hand had cupped her cheek and he wiped some of the dampness from her cheek, breathing her in after the kiss for a second before responding. "Rand. We're about the same size. Ward keeps adding to his closet and Danny doesn't want them. I'm just a shoe size bigger but fortunately there was a pair that ran big. There are a couple of more suits, even a pair of suspenders, in my bag. In the bedroom."

He should probably get those out so they didn't wrinkle but Diego was happy where he stood with Jessica and didn't move. His hand moved off of her face and wrapped lightly around her frame.

Eventually she'd get him to figure out that past relationships didn't matter. Not anymore. The women who'd barely loved him and left him had been idiots. The people that had seen him as a thing and not the man he was... well. People were fucking assholes.

He wiped away some of that wetness and gave her a look that felt like he was squeezing her heart from the inside. His inability to see his own self worth made her heart break. It made her hate the people that had been in his world that had put that there. "We can get you shoes, if you want. But I like this on you. You wear it better than Rand."

Her fucks about his wrinkled clothes were up there with his, and when he touched her, she just leaned into him, resting her head against his, swaying a little with him as if there was music somewhere that gave her a reason to.

"I'm good with this pair." They were a little tight but Diego learned a long time ago from his father that good leather would form. In truth, he couldn't help but feel like she didn't need to pay for everything that he needed. ...He needed to stop worrying that she'd get fed up with him like every lover before her.

It wasn't as if he could imagine getting tired of Jessica. There were a few relationships, including his last, where he held feelings that just weren't returned. She didn't give him that notion regardless of how new their relationship was. Diego exhaled calmly through a soft smile.

"I think you're just not used to seeing me wear something that isn't black," he teased while moving to the imaginary music. The suit was light gray with a blue button down underneath and a tie that matched the suit. Black leather shoes and a black leather belt rounded out the outfit that he was ready to get out of for the night.

"I like you in black. You pull off the whole dangerously sexy thing well. But grey's nice too..." She smoothed her hand down the lapel, moving with him as they swayed. The tension that had been in him since he'd walked in the door was gone, and they were just there. The two of them. He looked at her and she swore she actually could see love there.

Diego made her feel things that she'd long since given up hope on. It wasn't just the love, it was the acceptance. He looked at her and didn't find things he wanted to change about her. He wasn't trying to fit her into some idea in his head of what she should be. He saw her and loved her anyway.

Her fingers wrapped around the tie, giving a light tug on it. "You always look pretty to me."

Oooh, there's chapters

damn skippy

♥♥

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